frustratingly confused.

yesterday my little brother turned 18! gah! crazzzzzzzy.

i've had a great summer so far. i looooove kari and krisan and hanging out with them is so much fun. girl talk. working out. epic walks. chicago <--which we need to do more! i wish i had more money. ha
however, something in my life is missing. i don't really know what it is. i really want to travel around. i want to see california and new york and texas and and washington and georgia (you know why) and more of tennessee.
also, i need a loan from someone. i don't know what to do. i need $350 by june 4th! and i can't get that on my own. fuck. i don't want to ask my mom because she keeps complaining about how stressed out she is and i don't want to add to that. if i don't get the money then i can't sign up for my classes until after freshmen do, which means i will not get into classes i need to be in.
i need to stop being lazy too. i have projects that i want to get done this summer and if i keep watching the view and tyra every day and sitting on my computer for hours and hours; i won't get them done.

i need to clear my head and figure out exactly what i want right now.